I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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