i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
