i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize