Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
