This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
