I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
