Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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