Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
