I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
