she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
