I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
