i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I am midnight drunk by noon
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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