We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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