haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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