i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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