Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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