So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
