somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Operation Purity has been aborted
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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