eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
