Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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