I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
