I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
