I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
