you traded sex for a burrito?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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