I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she was so not down for the gang bang
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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