Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
