I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just pynch a tree in the face
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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