i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
