there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize