One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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