just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Randomize
