names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
