May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.