so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
