I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
