So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
