I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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