i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
