Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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