The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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