He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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