I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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