the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
