I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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