I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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