This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
