I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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