you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
