The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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