i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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