And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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