I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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