Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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