she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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