carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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