That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
farters have to be the big spoon...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
