I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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