Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there was a trapeze. enough said
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
