Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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