The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
