Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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