was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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