apparently the secret to your success is patron
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
