So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
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did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
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I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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