Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you inspire me to be a worse person
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am available for nakedness
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
