I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Can you repeat that, but with context?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
