he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
